this just in: lemon squares fucking rule.

it's inexplicably true. have you ever had a lemon square? if yes, then you surely must understand, and you probably utter the above statement two to three times a day, depending on how much time you spend around people who probably shouldn't hear expletives all that much. (ie. nuns and your mother, and even moreso if your mother happens to be a nun.) if you haven't, however, it's about goddamn time. get on the lemon square wagon before 2012 hits and we are totally out of lemons and sobbing all the time out of pure grief.

the lemon square wagon:
the crust:
-1/4 cup sugar
-5 T margarine
-1 cup flour (once again, wild hive local flour is awesome. use it!)

the filling:
-3 eggs (for each one, i used 2 tablespoons corn starch & 2 tablespoons unsweetened almond milk, mixed. making the grand total for this ingredient: 6 tablespoons corn starch and 6 tablespoons almond milk, all mixed up. you can use any egg substitute you'd like, though.)
-3/4 cup sugar (i used half brown rice syrup and half granulated sugar. maple syrup or agave might also be a nice sugar substitute in here.)
-the zest and juice of 2 or 3 lemons (2 if they're juicy, 3 if they're sort of dry)
-one teaspoon pure vanilla extract
-1/2 teaspoon baking powder
-1/8 teaspoon salt (i never measure when it comes down to that much of salt. just a few shakes should do you just fine.)
-3 tablespoons flour
-powdered sugar (optional. also can be made simply by blending up granulated sugar.)

here's what you do!

make your crust first. mash all the ingredients together until they are a coarse meal. press it into a 9 inch by 9 inch pan, or whatever pan you want to make lemon squares in. feel free to put it into a 9 inch by 13 inch pan and say "forget you, lady, i make my own rules." if you are unclear as to the measurements of your several pans, get out your favorite 7 inch record and measure proportionally.

put your pan with crust in it into an oven set to 350 degrees for a little while, until it has browned a tiny bit. work on the filling while this is happening!

for the filling, mix all the ingredients up, sans powdered sugar. if you are new to the world of "zesting," let me introduce you to the microplane!

the microplane and the lemon are pretty much best friends who hang out all the time, even when you specifically put your lemons in the fridge and store your microplane in a drawer. they find each other eventually, without your aid, and at first it's pretty creepy, but it gets endearing after a few frustrating times. just let them be together.

zest your lemons before you cut them and squeeze them, so you can have a firm grip on them. the microplane is basically a glorified rasp, but it really does the job. grate the lemon on the microplane over a bowl or plate, and focus on only grating off the outermost yellow layer. the white flesh underneath is bitter and should be avoided. basically, give your lemons a shave. they should be relatively white after you are finished, and you should have zest!:

mix all the ingredients together and pour them into the pre-baked crust. it might make a satisfying sizzling noise, and it will look something like this, except with your specific pan-shape:


let this bake at 350 degrees for a while. since all ovens differ, i won't suggest an average amount of time, but will say that you should just keep an eye on them. they will be done when the filling appears gelatinous and is no longer liquidy, and/or when a knife or poker can be inserted and removed cleanly. make sure the top does not burn, please.

when they are done, you can sprinkle that optional powdered sugar on top. garnishing with fresh lemon slices might be nice, too? when they cool, slice them up and offer them to everyone you see, construct a makeshift wagon to transport them around town in (you can call this the lemon square wagon and insist non-literally that people "get on" it), and just eat the freaking things because they rule. you will be covered in powdered sugar, and will have never been happier.


horray!